Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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