dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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