the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
