The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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