also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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