I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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