He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
