So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Are my feet made of real feet?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
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