just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
no you cant smoke seaweed
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Brb crying the tears of my youth
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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