just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
