and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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