The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
