Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
