Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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