Kiss
Puke
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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