she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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