? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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