Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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