Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
