suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
