Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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