he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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