It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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