I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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