Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
try to milk me bitch
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
