I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
