Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
