Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
