are you so shy because you have an std?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize