And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
There's always time for handjobs
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
