Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
