i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
