He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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