Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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