you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
