I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
