hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
