Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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