He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i out mim tonsoeep
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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