I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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