I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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