She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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