Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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