Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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