I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
