Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
