hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
