Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
