Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
