My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
so much tequila, so little girl.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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