About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
