There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
