I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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