I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
