Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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