can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
