Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
